Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet

December 9, 2015

“If it doesn’t suck, we don’t do it!”

This is just one of the meta-motivating “Seal-isms” from the man, known only as “SEAL” in Jesse Itzler’s memoir, Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet, a book I devoured in around five minutes. Or five days. You get the point.

I get a ton of book pitches her at GLA and I usually (all the time) turn them down. Not that they don’t sound interesting, but with two small kids and ten careers, my “hunkering down with a self-help-latest fitness craze-Matcha recipe book-time” is seriously non-existent. When this one – about what happens over the course of 30 days when a real, live, massive motherfucker of a Navy Seal moves in with Itzler and his family – popped into my in-box, something in me said, “yah, what the fuck!”

The angle – Jesse, a successful maverick entrepreneur with a steady trail of  accomplishments under his belt, is feeling a bit bloated by comfort and needs a drastic wake-up call to catapult him out of complacency and into the next level. (BTW, Jesse’s “complacency” blows the roof off of most normal people’s. He’s an extreme athlete and has competed in 100 mile marathons. His level of fitness far surpasses most trainers).

“When I found my life drifting toward cruise control, I decided it was time to shake things up. You know, break out of that same routine.  Research shows that stepping out of our comfort zone is good for the mind, body and soul and I wanted to get better. It was time to shake things up.”

Next: A series of (totally exciting) events gets him in front of SEAL, whom he asks to come live with him for 30 days and train him. The caveat? SEAL can ask of Jesse anything he wants and Jesse has to comply. Within 3 days, SEAL moves into him home, with his wife and kids and takes him on a training journey of a lifetime.

Something about the story seemed so quirky, fun and well, bananas, I said yes, please send it! Ok, the cover looked fun and crazy enough in just the right way too. Not my usual Buddhist teachings from Spirit Rock type of vibe. It was a shake up for me too.

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Maybe it’s also because when I read the pitch about Jesse and learned that he is married to Boss Woman of the Universe, Sara Blakely (um, hi, Spanx inventor) and that he (too, long story) was a rapper in the 90’s – I immediately gave him massive props for balls of all kinds. Speaking of balls, he’s an owner of the Atlantic Hawks. When I read on to learn that Jesse in his own right is no slouch, but a savvy-as-fuck-biz-whiz, I had to know more about how this family digested this process. So many things about this backstory I already loved – sucking my thighs in, a bad ass woman entrepreneur, a dude who carves his own path (and makes it!) and hip hop! Throw in some extreme-mind-soul-challenging athleticism and I’m in.

But seriously, it was the story, straight up, that intrigued me. Jesse is among the elite class of fitness (nuts, freaks, geniuses, super humans?) fanatics that are into the 100 mile marathon thing. For some weirdo reason, I’m sorta into this. Earlier this year, I breezed through ultra-marathoner Rich Roll’s book. Page turner. Did I mention that I don’t run? Like at all. I have bilateral hip replacements from congenital hip dysplasia and can’t do a lick of impact. Maybe that’s why I find it so interesting? I imagine it’s similar to yoga. It’s connecting to the moment, breath and after breath, one foot in front of the other. Extreme running to me, sounds like the ultimate exercise of being in the moment, spiritually and emotionally. If you start thinking about the big picture, the amount of road ahead, you will be swallowed by it. It’s about pace. And surrender. Being present for each breath, each strike of the pavement. Less I digress.

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Long Island raised Jesse is also a kick-ass entrepreneur and while he tells the compelling story (in a light, super easy to read and funny as fuck voice – yay, Strong Island!) of his 30 days with SEAL, where he is willingly (most of the time) driven above and beyond limits he didn’t even know he had, Jesse weaves in highlights from his eclectic business career. So while I was hooked on each beat of how hard SEAL was physically and psychically pushing him day after day, night after night (as in the MIDDLE of the night), I was also devouring, what evolved into some awesome nuggets of business advice. I actually GOT something out of it ( “Confuse them!” – you gotta read the book to know what he’s talking about.)

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I had the super fun pleasure to hit Jesse up with some questions about this life changing experience and even that exchange was a teaching moment (sorry, parenting term) – in other words, I got something out of my interview. Bonus!

It’s actually quite simple:

“When you think you’re done, you’re only 40% there”

Ultimately, while this book is fun and light romp, it’s really about something much bigger.

We are so much more than our “minds”. Our capacity, both physically and mentally vastly exceeds our pre-conceived limits about our ability. We have much deeper resources than we can imagine. If we can tap into this infinite pool, by surpassing our hard-wired belief systems, we can open up to a more limitless existence. Do you need a SEAL of your very own to make this happen? Well, it would probably help. But I got a big enough hit from the book to bring this awareness into my consciousness, in some way, without having an awesome motherfucker standing over my bed at 1 am, waking me up to go jump into a frozen river, so to speak.

Also, and this is a big one, we don’t need nearly as much as we think need. There is a lot of Seal inspo about living a more minimal existence. Word. I’m a big believer of this. Stuff makes me crazy. SEAL, I’m with you.

Overall, this book is win win win. You don’t have to be into fitness to love every page. Perfect stocking stuffer for anyone in your life suffering from a touch of intertia.

Here’s some official biz from and about Jesse :

Like many of us, I like routine.  I have the same breakfast,  read the same newspaper and I take the same route to work-everyday.  The running route I do in Central Park 5 days a week-the same.  Bed time ritual-same.

Routine can be good, but routine can also be a rut.

When I found my life drifting toward cruise control, I decided it was time to shake things up. You know, break out of that same routine.  Research shows that stepping out of our comfort zone is good for the mind, body and soul and I wanted to get better. It was time to shake things up.

I hired a rather unconventional trainer to get me off auto-pilot; an accomplished Navy SEAL widely considered to be the “toughest man on the planet”. The guy was intimidating, serious, and angry. I don’t know at what…but this guy was ANGRY.  When I sat with him and “pitched him” on the idea of training me, there was a twist to it.  I didn’t just hire him, I asked him to move in with me and my family for 31 days. Yes, I wanted to physically improve, but I also wanted the mental side of it as well. I was curious if I could inherit just a bit of that  “warrior” mentality so few of us really have.  I wanted it at work, at home, in the gym.

He agreed.

While this is a story about our month together, it’s very much a story about two people forced to step out of there comfort zones. SEAL and me. He was as uncomfortable with my Upper West Side lifestyle as I was with running through a blizzard at 4am with a weight vest strapped on me.

I started a blog about our training when SEAL moved in because it was so unorthodox.  I  sent it to 30 friends.  The blog took off.  My friends shared it with their friends and before you know it, I had quite a large following.  While the blog focused on our training, there was so much more to our journey.  The “if it doesn’t suck we don’t do it” mentality, the “everyone needs to find out what they have in their reserve tank”, the “when you dig deep that’s when you feel most alive” lessons I learned.

During our time together, SEAL taught me the benefits of getting out of your comfort zone.  He taught me that to truly get better, you have to be willing to get uncomfortable. You have to do things that suck. The harder the training and the more courage it took for me to do..the greater the satisfaction.

SEAL lives his life that way. And some of that rubbed off on me.

Jesse Itzler has a knack for getting his foot in the door first…and then figuring the rest out later.  A serial entrepreneur he has opened many doors across completely different industries leading to a wildly successful, entertaining and unconventional life. His normal has always been abnormal.   He brazenly pretended to be established hip-hop artist Dana Dane (he’s black, Jesse is white, -minor detail) to secure a meeting with a studio head – and it led to a record deal. He convinced the powers that be at NetJets to sit with him and his partner for a 15 minute meeting-that led to Marquis Jet, the worlds largest private jet card company. And, to get the attention of the beautiful founder of Spanx he sincerely offered to run a 100-mile race wearing Spanx-he and ended up marrying her.

His life has been about being bold and risky. And it’s brought him plenty of rewards.

So, when Jesse found his daily life drifting towards cruise control, he hired a rather unconventional trainer to get him off auto-pilot; an accomplished Navy SEAL widely considered to be “the toughest man on the planet!”.  But he didn’t just hire him, he asked him to move in with him and his family.

LIVING WITH A SEAL is like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air…meets Rambo. Jesse is about as easy-going as you can get. SEAL is…not. He even shows up at Jesse’s apartment with a backpack that turns into an inflatable raft just in case the Itzler family ever has to escape Manhattan by crossing the Hudson River.

Jesse and SEAL’s escapades soon produce a great friendship, and by the time SEAL leaves, Jesse is in the best shape of his life, but he gains much more than muscle. At turns hilarious and inspiring, LIVING WITH A SEAL ultimately shows you the enormous benefits that happen when you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and get uncomfortable.